Yesterday, we celebrated 17 years of marriage, a journey filled with depth, meaning, and lessons that only time can reveal. As we reflected on our lives together, Danny said something that resonated with me: “Look at what our love has made.” Those words hold so much truth, not just in the family we’ve built, but in the people we’ve become because of each other.

It’s tempting to share only the beautiful photos, to paint a picture of perfect harmony. But that would be far from the truth. Our lives have often felt like war zones intense, raw, and chaotic. Our marriage has been a battlefield of emotions, where love and tension have collided more times than I can count. We’ve wrestled with hard truths, confronted our own darkness, and faced pain head-on. We’ve agreed on the little and big things, disagreed on the little and big things, and sometimes found ourselves in the messiness of compromise. It’s been both breathtakingly beautiful and heartbreakingly difficult, disastrous and redemptive all at once.

Yesterday, as we talked about loving our family well and striving for peace, I felt a sting of guilt. I’ve not always been a person of peace in our marriage or our family. As a wife, stepmom, mom, and adoptive mom, I’ve often wrestled with my role, especially when faced with circumstances beyond my control. For so long, I believed it was my job to create good humans. Only recently have I come to understand that my role is to guide, to disciple, to share wisdom, and to love unconditionally not to control the outcome.

That realization has come with its own battles. I know my grasp for control has, at times, created unnecessary conflict. And yet, as I reflect on these 17 years, I ask myself, “How can the knowledge of my mistakes serve me and my family now?” It’s clear to me that, without the wars we’ve faced, I wouldn’t treasure the peace we’ve fought so hard to find. The tension, the pain, the hard conversations, they’ve all made the peace that much sweeter.

Danny Ellison, you’ve been my partner in all of this, the good, the bad, and the miraculous in between. Your patience and willingness to fight for us have been gifts I don’t take lightly. You’ve shown me grace in my mess and forgiveness when I didn’t deserve it. Watching this family we’ve built together, through every challenge, through every victory, has been the greatest gift of all. Thank you for 17 years of growth, love, and resilience. Here’s to the beauty and the battles, and to all that’s yet to come.

Here’s to camping, connecting, and communicating with love. I love you!