10 years after Suicide…

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Today marks ten years since my brother lost his battle with depression as he took his last breath. He was smart, funny, loving, protective, strong and brave. He loved rap music and loved all people! He never met a stranger! He had freckles and dark hair! He was an accomplished realtor and he loved sports specifically “North Carolina”.

He struggled for many years with trying to be strong. He wrote a few letters during his times of trouble expressing his desire to end his life but I would not allow myself to believe that he would ever really allow it to get that bad…I mean…he was the strong one. He had a beautiful wife and three beautiful girls and even that didn’t stop the deep pain from catching up to him.

I will never understand why he chose to part from this world in such a violent manner. I will never understand why he didn’t reach out for professional help. I do know that I choose to grieve his death by reaching out.

If you have ever had battles with depression both situational or biological please reach out and call for help. Put this number in your phone and label it something that you will remember. 1-800-273-8255 (FYI) I have it in my phone, so do not be embarrassed because you are not alone! Depression is serious and must be dealt with because it could be fatal.

If you struggle with suicidal thoughts I also wanted to tell you that I believe you! Big or small I believe that there is a part of every one of us that wants to die. I also believe that there is a part of each person that wants to live. My challenge for you is that since we will all pass from this earth one day (guaranteed), I want you to grab ahold, with all that is in you, grab the part of you that wants to live! Grab it and don’t let go!

If you are walking in shame be ashamed no more! If you have guilt, let it go! If you have been hurt deeply by someone, forgive them and walk on! Do not visit the past and allow it to hurt your future! Do not let the past define you! You have been made for a purpose and you can make it no matter what has happened! There is always a way to see life as half full rather than half empty!

Please if not for you…please seek help for those who LOVE you deeply! You are LOVED! Say it with me…I AM LOVED! Say it again!!! I AM LOVED!!!

The last words my brother ever told me were words of  wisdom and love. I am thankful for that. My heart just can’t get over what I may have missed! I missed the pain that day. He was strong yet found himself walking with weakened and fragile spirit. To Daniel my Beloved big Bubba! I loved you so and miss your terribly deep!  I wish I could just hug you one last time…I wish you understood how truly amazing you were!

Love, Steph

2 thoughts on “10 years after Suicide…

  1. Hey Stephine. So, I met you at a camp not too long ago and you were my leader! Haha! You told us some of this story and some of your testimony. When I got home, I looked for your website (simplyencourage.com) and some of your other social media/websites. I love how you posted this story not to rant on about your brother’s death and how horrible it was for you, but to help others and encourage them to look for the good things in life.
    You are so, so, so, so, SO amazing!!! You have such an amazing personality, amazing talents and a gift for helping and encouraging others (I mean, hence the name simply encourage). I loved how you used just that one gift that you have in this blog.
    I can’t wait to read some more and see what else you put in your blogs. I love and miss you already and I hope to see you soon 🙂

    Ps. I would love to be you “editor” of the blog

    …But also, that was just a joke. I’m guessing you knew that. Haha ! 😉

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